This is not a feministic rant, or a chauvinistic one either. If you’ve been following me for quite some time, you would know how much I stand up for men, and brothers in Christ. There is nothing more refreshing than seeing and reading about a young man pursuing the Lord with his whole heart. It is a mighty thing to behold, and few of which I have had the privilege to see and know on here.

Yet, along the way, men seem to have lost their directions. As have women. And it is the topic that is rarely addressed in the Christian community, but one that is often felt. This topic is one that has been tainted with tears, heartbroken sobs, and made Baskin Robbins rich. It’s the topic that has made countless girls muster in their tears, “I… I thought he liked me! We weren’t together, but it felt like we were! We weren’t dating, but it hurts!” 

I’m not sure what I could call this topic, for it is like the tag along friend. No one really wants them at the party, but they latch on regardless. No one knows their name, but at the end, they leave utter destruction. The best possible solution I have is to source the subheading of the topic, and it’s this:

Men. Do not lead a woman in Christ along.
Women. Do not flirt with a man of God.

Men, you have a role to achieve, and to see through. Believe it or not, it isn’t playing with a young woman’s emotions or heart. Either be all in, or all out in regards to winning her. Either pursue her, or do not. Do not use your charm, or your best moves unless you are willing enough to bear the consequences of those actions.

Countless times in my life before I was a Christian, and I’m afraid once when I was, I have had men gallop into my life, bestow their affections upon me, sweep me off my feet, and drop me head first into the mud. They monologue great poetic breaths of words about how they are attracted to me, and they cannot possibly bear to hide it any longer—like something straight out of Pride and Prejudice. They gawk about their feelings. And as my heart begins to melt, they freeze up, backtrace their steps, and run in the opposite direction, as if commitment was an infectious disease.

They place their cards on the table without collecting their prize. 

Granted, my past is filled with idiocy. I am not without blame, and I should have guarded my heart. But there have been times when this has occurred where pain was inevitable.

This hurts, gentlemen. Our hearts weren’t made to be stirred, and not served (Song of Songs 2:7). Stir the pot of our hearts, but make sure you finish the job that you started. If you confess attraction, pursue us, and realise you’ve made a mistake, then do not be forward to begin with. Pursue a platonic friendship with us, observe, and then make a prayerful decision to pursue us romantically. 

If you are not ready for commitment, then do not behave like you are. Be humble enough to admit this. Be self controlled enough. 

Look at the scriptures. Men in the Bible, if they were men of God, were direct with their intentions. It was just the done thing. For example, Jacob and his love for Rachel (Genesis 29:11-21). He knew he loved her, so he simply approached Laben. No hanky panky. No second thoughts. For seven years (not to mention another seven years afterward), he worked for her hand, by her father’s merit. He didn’t give up half way through. He was a man.

In like manner, women, you have a role to achieve, and see through too. Flirting with men of Christ is not on the job description. Countless times I see Christian girls on here become predators, lurking after the guys. They are forward, and have no reservations with telling a Christian man that they’re “hot”, “cute” or they’re longings to be closer to him. This is a distraction. This is so wrong. And dare I say, it’s an abomination.

It also robs a man of his duties. The men are supposed to chase, and to gently win your hearts. We are the weaker vessels. When you come along, force your affections on a male, one of two things will happen. He will either run for the hills, and avoid you like the plague. You will scare him off. Or he will take the backseat, whilst you set the foundations of the friendship, and you will have to constantly be the pursuer. 

That is not your design. That is not God’s will for you.

If you are attracted to a young man of God, pray for him. This is how you can honour him. This is how you can make sure his Sword of the Spirit is sharpened. A good rule of thumb is that if the man was your brother, would you flirt and try to seduce him? 

Look at the scriptures. No where in the Bible did a godly woman pursue the man. If you retort with Ruth, then you’ve misconstrued the scriptures. She went to Boaz in obedience to Naomi (Ruth 3:1-5), so the lineage would continue, and provision would be made. It was tough for two women to live on their own for a lifetime. She wanted to see Ruth cared for. Ruth was in fact, dying to self.

Cling to Christ, dear readers. Cling to Him. Do not take your eyes off Him. Men, hold tightly to the Word of God. This is how your ways will be kept pure (Psalm 119:9). Women, guard your hearts with much might (Proverbs 4:23). This is how you ensure your mystique is not invaded. Be cautious. Be guarded. 

And this is how to avoid attachment without commitment: By glorifying Christ, even in our actions and motives toward the opposite sex. If we all did this, perhaps hearts would be less scarred, intentions wouldn’t be skewed, and Christ will be King in our interactions. 

(Source: thesweetermelody)