i dont like gossip. i guess its not something that i understand all the time. Then again i dont understand alot of things, like judgement, makeup, and clubbing. so when i receive inaccurate information, only to ask the person themselves whether or not its true. i dont expect, nor do i want to be called a gossip, or somebody who spreads rumours. 

the way you came up to me was low. first off the rumour wasnt about you, and in saying that i spread rumours, well i would call that a rumour in and of itself.

“hey sandra, i heard UTM was on fire, and you started it.”

…. gee thanks. thats what i need. 

If im doing something wrong, speak the truth to me in love (Ephesians 4:15), not out of spite. as a brother in Christ, i guess i expected more of you. but instead, when you came to me today i felt ashamed, more than i already did, and i hated myself for it. if you meant it as a joke, then i am blowing it out of proportion. but i dont take it lightly. 

i was really hurt by the whole thing, caught off guard. 

perhaps it was a lesson to be learned. but then where do we draw the line between sharing information and gossiping? are they the same thing?

i have been reading the multiple letters of Paul lately:

Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Colossians 4:6 - Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

1 timothy 3:4 - the Wives (of deacons) are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything. 

it hurts to be called a gossip and someone who spreads rumours. especially because that was not my intention. rather i wanted to make conversation, confirm what i heard, see how she felt on the matter. Did i cross a line? did i cause feelings to be hurt, or anything to be displeasing to our Lord Jesus Christ? I already regret what i said, especially because it was untrue, and i truly apologize if the answer is yes to any of the questions above. 

but truly, your way of handling the situation… SUCKED. and made me feel small, angry, and ashamed. more that i already felt. i didnt realize how hurt i felt until… now. especially because i am NOT this person. 

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. - 1 timothy 4:12